while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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