piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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