I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
