Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
