did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need to calm my uterus...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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