Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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