we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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