so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
