did you get engaged???
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
