if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
