New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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