Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
