sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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