I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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