Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
