Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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