maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
