Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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