I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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