this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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