You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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