That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
