I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
