his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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