Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
