well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
