just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
