yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
