My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
