i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
