There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
