R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
