i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
