you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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