please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
