I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
