Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
