Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
