You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
