Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
