Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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