Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
