Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
