just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
