No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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