is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
