she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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