Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
