Who did Billy Mays play for?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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