it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i permit you to call me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
