New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
