worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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