it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
