I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
