i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
