yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
